Gabriel's Grand Entrance

After reading Karrie's story I was inspired to share mine. I had a repeat c-section for my own peace of mind and I'm a firm believer that no one birth experience is better or more natural than another.

I couldn't sleep. I had spent the previous day walking over God's creation and helping Ron to declutter our house. In hindsight we were nesting. I was having contractions but was used to that since I was 39 weeks preggers. Trouble was, these friggin ones were keeping me up which I knew to be a good/bad thing. Good because it was probably real labor, but bad because my scheduled c-section was three days away! I got up to pee for the millionth time and noticed a drip down my leg, oh great I thought to myself "either you're leaking or peed yourself." I got to the bathroom and discovered that it was a slow trickle of blood. HOLY SHIT!! I am freaking at this point. I go wake Ron up and his response is "well what does that mean?" I said to him, "I think I need to go to Labor and Delivery but sleep a bit and I'll wake you up soon." I go downstairs and putter around, contrax get stronger, my bag is packed. Wake Ron up and he's in panic "we gotta call mom! who's gonna watch the kids?" I tell him to calm himself and call his mom and he does. "She can't be here for 45 minutes, " he says "you'll have to take the Volvo and drive yourself. Shit shit shit! The Volvo he speaks of is our 87 Volvo that we refer to as "the tank." I get in and get going, every bump and stop is torture as the contrax are every 5 mins or less. Just to make my life a smidge harder, they're working on the road ON A SUNDAY! As soon as I get by said construction, I must pull over for big friggin contrax!


I finally got to the L&D unit after the ride of hell and they take me back. Bloody show and I'm dilated to 3. Whoa um hello my baby's supposed to be born on Wednesday?? Excuse me? At this point they offer to let me attempt a VBAC or go ahead w/ a c-section but the baby is coming today. Ron gets there FINALLY and he informs me that I must do the c-section. So they begin to prep stuff and Ron gets fascinated by the contraction monitor. I'm still having them of more intensity and he is just riveted. "Wow hon, holy crap that's a big one!" Yeah Ron I know!! Ugh!



The nurse comes back after what seems like forever and announces that the OR is ready! Yippee! Would I like to walk or ride across the hall? I'll walk thanks! Get in and they're getting the spinal prep stuff. Ugh hate this part. This is my 2nd c-section so I'm pretty aware of the procedures. The anesthesiologist is there. I already love this man since I told him that I had a bad reaction to the morphine and he says "oh we'll fix that." They put the drape up, Ron comes in and the tug fest begins. All the while the kind anesthesiologist is talking to me, his voice is soothing as he sounds just like John our family friend from my childhood. I hear the suctions, gurgling and he cries. Sweet lusty cries.



My baby boy, my 3rd child was born at 11:09 a.m. He proved to me that he does things in his own time and when he's ready. He keeps me on my toes with that attitude almost 3 years later. It's hard to believe that soon he'll be three.





If you read this, you deserve a cookie but I have none to give. Instead here's some lovely baby pics of Gabriel Carter Henderson:


August 1, 2004




A Few Days Old

Today

Happy Holidays

Whatever you celebrate. Blessings of the season from our family to yours!

Nothing Like Procrastination...

To kick you in your ass and get you motivated and into the jolly spirit! Well not so much jolly spirit. I need snow and cold, NOT nearly 60 degree weather!

Every year my hubby and I wait till the ever loving last minute to get Xmas together. *sigh* Today I got almost all of the nieces and nephews done and I still have to get something for my hubby and finish up kid stuff.

I think this post is potpourri'ish because I need to empty my mind.

Let's see. I have the baby craving mostly I think because I need a "project." I have thought of going back to work in some capacity but then I get depressed. All I know is that I need to do SOMETHING!

Gabriel is potty training. He's doing pretty well. Pooped (mostly by accident) yesterday on the potty and that's good but also adds to the baby craving.

Dazed and Confused is on right now. Nostalgia much? I used to love to get crazy with my friends and laugh my ass off at this movie and it strikes me that Matthew McConnaughey is pretty much himself the entire movie (see Stoner Wooderson).

Ok Gabriel is attempting to brush teeth. Gotta go!

Gabriel Can Fly!

See?

Skiing, it's Fun...Really...it's Fun...

Oy! My husband is pretty obsessed with skiing. Last January we learned how and natural athlete he is he picked it up just like that. Me on the other hand, well let's just say that a. I hate falling and b. I fell a lot. So I took some lessons and just tried really hard knowing that it's something my husband loves. Well last year I braved the "intermediate" trails. Thought I was doing fine and then BAM! I crash going full speed and somersault landing at an odd and painful angle. I'm pretty freaked out needless to say at the thought of skiing again. It seriously gives me anxiety attacks.

So now skiing is open at our ski resort. Ron wants to go Friday! Ack! I'm trying not to curl into the fetal position and cry but it's hard. I have explained that I'm scared and have even considered not going but stupid me, I love my hubby and want to do things that make him happy.

Well for the record Ron if we ski and I fall you're damn sure taking me museum hopping and you will wait while I read every single informative card about the exhibit!

Now for your viewing pleasure enjoy some video from last season!

A Cup of Holiday Cheer

I need some. The last day or two I feel a funk coming on. Maybe it's PMS but I just feel blah. I am looking forward to the weekend though. My husband is taking our daughter to a production of The Nutcracker. Bella is in her "vallerina" phase and loves all things related to being a ballerina. I'm glad they'll have that time together. Speaking of time together, Gabriel and I just got back from playing at the park together. Bella has school today so it was just us.

I was just reading Kat's blog and her recent post about Christmas memories has me thinking. Much of the traditions that I have for my family stem from things we did when I was a child. An angel sits atop my tree as it did my mom's, we use white lights for EVERYTHING, we listen to Christmas music while decorating etc etc. I love the holidays. I'm glad they're upon us.

I guess I better get shopping eh? Nothing like procrastination....

Long Time No Post!

What can I say besides November has been a super busy month. When I last left you I was preparing for a trip to FL. I went and had a great time. The weather was awesome and I even got to go to the beach!!

After I returned I had to gear up for a girls only weekend in Baltimore with my dear friends Jackie and Jaime. We had a blast, dined on yummy seafood and had a wonderful time together. Here we are at the Light Rail Station:

As soon as I got home I had to get ready for Thanksgiving at my house. I had my family over for dinner and it went GREAT! I cannot believe Christmas is less than 1 month away! ACK!

Well I better keep this short. Time is a precious commodity these days.

Baltimore is NOT Charm City

Being from Baltimore myself I'm pretty ashamed of the city. I went to the Ravens vs. Bengals game Sunday at M&T Bank Field. Now you all know. I'm a huge Bengals fan. I wore #85 w/ pride. I expected the boos and playful insults all in good team rivalry fun. What I didn't expect was the verbal vomit spewed from drunk Ravens fans. It was absolutely ridiculous being accosted by women in the ladies room and also screamed at in front of my dad. I'm a huge jock and overall sports fanatic. I've been to NBA and MLB and had my first foray into NFL. A foray that sadly I doubt I'll go back into. It was too much nastiness to stomach.

Living in a 2 Party House

Oh sometimes it's hard to be me and live in my house.

My husband and I are at opposite ends of the political spectrum and some days like today I feel soo very oppressed.

I'm a staunch liberal although I think I am more close to center vs. far left. My husband on the other hand says he's independent but listens to nothing but Fox News and spouts "O'Reilly-isms" Very frustrating.

Today I bring up elections and he says he might vote. What the hell is up with that? Why not vote? Better to use your vote than waste it is my opinion but what the heck do I know. I take voting ultra serious. I am a grandchild of Filipino immigrants and a woman to boot so it's a privilege I take to heart.

I think I'm disgusted and annoyed by the state of our political arena. The smear and fear, the negativity of it all. What happened to elections being about issues?? When did it turn into "he said this 20 years ago, or "she voted with so and so against this." I'm sick to death of it but am determined not to be dissuaded into casting a vote.

The war is the main issue on my mind. I've read about how we got there and don't get me confused, I support the troops, but I feel we need to get the exit strategy going. Every day is bloodier and bloodier. So that's how I will be basing a majority of my vote.

It pisses me off when people say that we who are opposed to the war are unpatriotic or are somehow against the troops. It's so thoughtless. Don't they get we can support the troops w/o supporting the war?? Ugh.

Basically now that I've ranted. Do your part. Do your research and vote on FACTS not rhetoric.

Peace.

An Open Letter to Halloween Candy Providers

Please stop giving out the cheapie nasty hard candy. You know who you are. You can afford a bag of Twix or a bag of Milky Ways. That extra .50 isn't gonna kill ya! Just do it! Don't leave my kids (and most importantly me!) hanging with the nasty stuff! If you can't conform you should leave your light off and quit torturing us!

On a side note, I think I did good. Kept my candy purchasing to $15. Will it last? I hope so because I'm not going to be here to run to the dollar store if it runs out. I am trying hard to refrain from eating it. Will it work?

Stay tuned. There may be a PMS-y, expletetive laced post in the near future cursing the pound I may gain this week and why there is only Dum Dums left in the bowl!

But I admit, I love a holiday dedicated to candy!

Make New Friends But Keep the Old??

Friends..that's what's on my mind. No, not the addictive TV Show that went off the air recently but real friends.

What criteria do you use to define a friend? Or Best Friend? Is it that you speak once a day? Do you see each other more than twice a week? This whole women and friendships thing just boggles me.

You see as a child, I didn't have a lot of friends. I was nerdy, half-Filipino and poor. I longed to be in the popular clique I finally got in as the "token nerd" in 8th grade. It didn't last very long. I soon realized that even though I had all these "friends" that I was quite lonely because they were so flighty and devoid of personality. As I matured and hit puberty I found it much easier to relate to boys. They were not ever going to laugh at me because I wore K-Mart jeans with a Guess patch sewn on. They would not forget about me when a new more exciting kid came along. So I have always had more men friends or have found it easier to have relationships with men because the women had always let me down one way or the other.

For me I can say that my idea of friendship is being there for one another. Being honest with each other. Making time to hang out and enjoy each other or at least speaking once a day for my cyber friends.

Cyber friends are wonderful. The internet is the way to go to protect ones fragile ego from being crushed by others. There are a few women I've encountered on the net whom I've made "friends" with. I have never met them IRL but I enjoy their cyber company and their personalities immensely. We've all been together since being preggo with our August babes and it's the first time I've had lasting friendships with women aside from my real really live friend Nicole.

My cyber gal pals and I are planning a get together in Baltimore next month. I'm really looking forward to it and am glad that we'll FINALLY get to meet face to face vs. phone to phone or screen to screen. Even though I'm sort of scared too about what they'll think of "real" me.

I don't know why it's now, maybe it's motherhood or hormones but for the first time in my life, I crave female company. I want a friend to go on "girls weekends", a friend to meet for dinners and someone who will listen to me complain when my hubby does stupid things.

Not that my cyber buds don't fit the bill...maybe I am falling into the old American dream trap of "let's want more! let's have more! supersize me!! Give me friends! Validate me is really more like it I think. Validate me that I'm a good person, that I'm worthy of friendship that all my traits of loyalty and compassion have not been lost on just my family and the grocery store clerk.

I'm also nostalgic too. My 10 yr reunion is coming up and I'm sad that people I was friendly with I've lost touch with and that the number of people whom I considered friends are kind of laughing at me now. Oh um I don't remember you?? Amber who?

Guess I should end this rant. Gabriel has dumped out foam ABC's all over my floor and is bombarding me with "I HUNGEE MOMMEEEEEE!!!!"

Thoughts?

Feel Like I'm Falling for Fall

Stupid Noggin Song! And I happen to love Candy Corn Moose!

Can you feel it? Smell it?? Fall is upon us. Baking and pies and stews and soups. Ahhh yum! The leaves in our area are near peak. I have a few pics to share later on but I just wanted to say how much I am looking forward to November. First is my trip to the Ravens vs. Bengals game on 11/5!!! GO CINCY!! Yes I'm a Bengals fan, I started watching in 03 and grew quite fond of my little team that could!

Here's me in my #85 Chad Johnson jersey (excuse the hair, I was windblown)




11/7 is of course election day! I'll be out at the polls bright and early and even though apathy runs rampant in our society, please VOTE!! Do SOMETHING!

I'm headed to PSL FLA on 11/10! Whoopie! Amber Alone Time! I say I'll be happy and have fun but I'll miss the kids from the time I land till I get home!



Then there is THANKSGIVING!!! I love the family getting together at my house and baking all night before hand. I'll be making Pecan Tarts and a Pumpkin Streusel Bundt along w/ pumpkin and apple pies! Plus the Turkey and sides! Mmmmm!!! Gotta love a holiday dedicated to food, family and football!!


Gooooo BENGALS!!!!

Obstreperous

Definition: noisily and stubbornly defiant; also boisterous

This about sums up Gabriel right about now. He's been testing me to the breaking point this morning and I'm already very moody/depressed/repressed.

Ah the joys of motherhood on days like today.

Almost 20 Years Later

...and Dirty Dancing still gets to me every friggin time!!

I can't tell if it's the coming of age, rebel against Daddy and he still loves you factor or just the incredible CHEMISTRY that Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayz have. I often wonder if they were involved during the filming. There were rumors but Swayze was married to his (still) wife Lisa Niemi.

Can anyone believe it's almost been 20 years?? Ick. I feel old. Saw this in the theater.

I often fantasize Baby and Johnny ran off together and live happily ever after and have a gaggle of Mambo dancing babes...what's your fantasy of them??

Financial Stability

A poll in Parenting magazine asked readers if it was important to be financially stable before having children.

Well here's my long drawn out take:

Yes because it's important to be able to take care of your children and no because you shouldn't be barrred from becoming a parent just because you lack insurance or a big fancy bank account.

I don't think the issue is as black and white as we'd like to make it because there are more arguments to be made.

As long as you can take care of your children it's none of my business.

Thoughts?

Through Thick and Thin

This piece really spoke volumes to me about women and friendship. Read it if you have a few minutes. I'm at a loss for what emotion that it evoked but it just hit me.

New Family Pics

Gabriel's New Artwork

I just cried after discovering this. I just painted this wall over the summer.

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

Ah that about sums up the weather. It's been a craptastic rainy day today complete w/ sleep deprived toddler and restless preschooler.

Let's journey back to yesterday. I had an entire day to myself to do whatever I wanted. My mother in law had Gabriel and the others were at school. I was so relaxed I was positive someone had slipped some Paxil into my lunch. I was preparing for Gabriel to come home and my mother in law decided to let him stay. The older ones got home from school and played so great like best friends. What a dream day!

Fast forward to today. Gabriel comes home. He's overtired from lack of sleep and is a total monster most of the morning till his 11 a.m nap. Ah break. I squeeze in some stupid exercise and try to get my Serene Mother Earth Goddess mojo flowing. UM yeah fucking right! Kids still fight, the rain keeps coming, Jake gets 3rd F in a row on reading comprehension test. You see the path this is going down right?? Finally I broke down and drug their bad asses to the dollar store for a new Bob the Builder tape, puzzles and dress up shoes. *sigh*

On top of that I tossed and turned all night due to horrible nightmares. One wear my specialist doctor is a big moron and the other some crazy ass people are trying to kill me. Nice eh? Oh and to top all of that off my period's due tomorrow and my hemorrhoid is flared up.

Who wants to top me or trade horror stories?? Anyone???? Bueller???

Mommy Blues

So here I am finally with a moment to gather my thoughts. I've been so harassed and stressed out lately that I'm surprised I haven't turned into a babbling idiot.

More often than not, I'm losing it on my kids. I don't know if it's a particularly nasty case of PMS or if it's a symptom of something else. I have had a few bouts of depression lately over concerns for my health. I had some abnormal blood test results and have been referred to a gastrointestinal specialist. All of that coupled with my feeling like I have no identity anymore have left me a neurotic bitch.

I want to enjoy my children. I want to be here with them. But lately I find myself longing for an identity that belongs to me. I love that I am their mom and that is such a privilege. Sometimes I just want something just for me, ya know? I want to be Amber Henderson exciting vivacious *insert noun*. I don't want to be just 'Bella's mom' Jake's Mom'

But deep down, if I never do anything else with myself. I know I'll always be proud to be a mom to three beautiful, intelligent kids.

Will it be enough? For now, yes. Ask me again later...

Video Killed the Radio Star

Video Killed the Radio Star...Video Killed the Radio Star....

Ok so I know that I watch way more t.v. than the average person but can I just say that I'm totally psyched that Breaking Bonaduce is back on VH1 starting October 22!!!!
Ah nothing like watching the trainwreck that is Danny Bonaduce to make yourself feel better about your life. Have you seen the promos? They look great!

Also tonight is the premiere of The Bachelor: Rome. 25 women in a catfight over a Prince. Should also be uplifting fare for those of us who need a pick me up as well.

The end of The Flavor of Love is upon us and I'm still shocked that I'm still hooked to this addictive and disturbing at times show. Choose Deelishis!!!

I am evil, I must be destroyed. MWUHAAHAHAHAA!

Now I just need Donald Driver to have a terrible night to make my ENTIRE WEEK!!! My Trophy Wives FFL team NEED THIS WIN!! Go Eagles shut down the Packers.
*solemn music for my Bengals who are now 3-1* :(

Future Miss WV Teen USA!!

Check out my cousin Sarah Elizabeth Thorne. She's vying for the title of Miss West Virginia Teen USA. She was 2nd Runner Up last year and first at the Strawberry Festival and is presently the reigning WV Three Rivers Teen Queen! The pageant is October 21!

Go Sarah! Good luck! We love you!

Survivor: Cook Islands and Stereotypes

Stereotype: : something conforming to a fixed or general pattern; especially : a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment

Ok so I'm probably one of the few who still watches but I wanted to get a few things out that irked me.

Everyone knows this season that the twist is the teams are divided by race. I heard this and was not really affected by it. Thought it was just another gimmick. But having watched it I can't help but notice that all they're doing is playing into and pointing out the racial stereotypes. My main issue is of course with the Asian tribe. Now being Filipino myself it bugs me that either people are being "portrayed" or that the stereotypes are really true.

Stereotype: Asians are good at fishing. They always show the Asians fishing and getting the fish. This is funny to me because my grandparents and a lot of my Filipinos are great fisherman. So is the stereotype true then?

They've also shown some personality traits of people. I dunno if they could be considered stereotypes or not though. For example some Asians I know are pretty nerdy. All the Asians except Cao Boi are pretty nerdy but again I don't know if this would be considered as a stereotypical trait of Asians or not or if it's just my observation being Asian myself.

Ok well I'm ending this because I feel like I'm rambling and am probably confusing.

just my thoughts

Potpourri

Oh I'm gonna lose my friggin mind. My kids are driving me absolutely batty. Gabriel has just been punished for bringing his toy mower up and trying to mow my dining room table. His shrieking ear drum piercing screams have totally put me over the edge. I decided to take the kids to Winchester which is about 35 minutes from our home to get some retail therapy and get out of the house. Mom needs new jeans!! Well I should have known from prior experience that my 2 youngest(4 and 2) + mindless wandering trying to find jeans that have the right wash= pain in the ass. *sigh* If they were not opening the dressing room doors on me they were fighting with each other. I need one of those Clix Counters to count all the dirty looks I got but I really don't care. GRRRRRR

Anyhoodles....

Poor Terrell Owens....the reports are that he tried to kill himself. I don't think he would although I don't know him personally or what his personal life is...It just does not add up? Ya know? The man has a $25 million dollar contract and I believe he's a father. So I don't get it. I really think his antics are over the top but whatever he's a human so I wish him the best.

It is quiet now. The kids are playing nicely. Thank God for that. We're having Chicken Quesadillas for dinner. Oh papi!! Yum O!

I really hope tomorrow is more peaceful.

Should Be Required Viewing

If you have not yet seen it, run don't walk to catch When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts on HBO. It's a brilliant documentary about Katrina and the aftermath. It moved me in so many ways. My emotions ran the gamut from rage to just incredible heartache. I'm not normally a huge Spike Lee fan but this is probably his best work to date. He focuses strictly on the people of New Orleans and gives them an outlet to speak their anger, frustration and misery over this ongoing tragedy.

It's mind boggling that a year later most of New Orleans is still in ruins.

Catch this if you can. Really.

PMS Bitchfest

Oy PMS!!! Give me strength! I'm on BCP's so I assume that I don't ovulate but I still get the stupid cravings, acne and my metabolism goes right out the friggin window. I can't stop eating!

Everything pisses me off or makes me cry. Right now I'm watching the View (thanks Rosie!) and they're doing a segment on picky eaters. Well I'm sorry but if I serve my broccoli hating 8 y/o broccoli in a Sun Dried Tomato Tortilla cut out like a Jack-o-Lantern he'd laugh his head off. Kids are way smarter than we give them credit for.

Today my food intake is as follows:

1 piece whole wheat toast w/ peanut butter
1/2 a Red Delicious Apple
Pretzel stick
Red Fat Ritz Cracker dipped in yet again peanut butter
1 Sandwich of Turkey on Whole Wheat
2 Oreos (Damn you Ron!!)
1 Kirkland Fruit Snack pack

And of course we're having stupid Sloppy Joes for dinner. Repeat the mantra "DO NOT EAT OREOS, DO NOT EAT OREOS!" Seriously I'm half tempted to chuck them but my frugal self would say "what a half bag of Oreos! don't you waste!" Or I'd chuck them and retrieve them and eat the whole bag. What I'll have to end up doing is chucking them and squirting them with dish soap just like Miranda did w/ cake in Sex and the City.

Who wants to join me at the Betty Crocker Clinic?

Dr. Phil-Exploitative T.V.? Chime in!

Ok so I'll admit it. I used to watch him RELIGIOUSLY! Lately though it seems to me as if the show has taken a very exploitative turn. It seems more Jerry Springer than trying to help people. His new project is The Dr. Phil House which seems so unnecessary and just down right wrong. He takes a family in "trouble" and puts them in a house where he tapes 24/7 in order to intervene and yell at the couple whenever there's a moment.

I thought it would be guilty pleasure but it's more like watching a grisly car wreck. Blech. Give me Springer anyday. At least he's out there and makes no bones that he's not out there to "help." He just puts crazy people on because he knows we'll watch.

Oh Dr. Phil...where and when did you jump the shark???

Food for Thought

So as I was making a pan of scalloped potatos and thinking back to a comment on Karrie's blog I started obsessing over food and nutrition and kids.

You see a frequent a certain parenting website (would I call it that?) well whatever so I go there and have been there since Gabriel (my 2 y/o) was in utero. Most everyone there is great and love them but I think sometimes I'm a masochist because I let myseslf be bothered by things I read w/ regard to food and kids.

Let me travel back in time for a minute. We were lower middle class growing up, hell sometimes we were just poor. We had box dinners. We ate Ramen and Velveeta and things with trans fat. Gasp! So fast forward to today. I'm a mom myself. I have 3 kids. Jake 8, Bella 4 and Gabriel 2. I do the best I can to make sure the kids eat somewhat healthy foods. But here's the thing that bugs me. I always feel like I'm not doing enough and it's because of my stupid insecurities coupled with the competitive nature of parenting.

I'll admit. I have not always made healthy choices. I am also a creature of habit. I stick to what I know and love out of fear of the unknown. Now as I've matured I've tried new things and since losing my 60lbs over the last three years I've been more healthy. I'm trying to promote a healthy lifestyle and better eating habits.

That said. Old habits die a slow hard, tortorous death. Trying to get my 8 y/o to eat an apple is a friggin nightmare. Quelle horror (thanks Ted )that I might actually make mac and cheese from scratch and try to sneak whole grains in. *sigh* It's a constant battle and some days I win some days I lose.

I'll admit my kids have fruit snacks, they eat peanut butter and jelly on white bread, they sometims even eat Kraft Mac and Cheese. I also admit that when I read what some kids and parents will eat some of it doesn't sound all that appealing to me. Not to mention that I live in rural WV and if I went to Wal Mart to ask for something like sun dried tomato hummus they'd probably a. ask me what it is and b. laugh me right out! So I'm not against healthy or different things, but I'm also too limited by geography.

In closing I do the best I can and as long as my kids are active and healthy I do not begrudge them a Pop Tart if their little hearts desire....as long as they have a piece of fruit later on....here I go again................

The Birth of my Blog

I tried writing something witty and it came out sounding weird and forced. Soo here is my second attempt.

I have many thoughts and things to say so I finally mustered up the courage to write them down. Why muster courage? I hate being judged, who will read this that maybe I don't want to read and am I really that mundane?

Well look out blogging world....here come the deeeeeep thoughts...